Equallity for ALL!

I think it must be a pretty sad world we are living in if the right to be who you are is being denied by something so trivial and insignificant as a "law". I mean, these people were born that way with these desires that society has portrayed as "wrong" and "evil". Who are we to tell them that they are wrong? Why cant we just let them do what they want and live their lives?

Of course, by now you know I am talking about all those poor murderers. (DUH, who else!!!) They have been locked up and denied their urges to practice killing without feeling shunned and discriminated against for too long. This is the year 2008, how can we, claiming to be an educated society, think they should "refrain" or, dare I say, "stop" this desire to murder openly and be happy? They have been shunned for too long by a narrow-minded society of religious zealots and "life-lovers"! Let's accept them for who they are.... people who want to make other people un-alive! Would that be so bad? After all, it's like the gays say, we should be tolerant and not discriminate.

Makes you wonder what is next, huh?

The Blame Game.....

Well, I hope the transition to socialism will be an easy one for America, but then again, it's what "the people" asked for. Thanks Obama.

But he couldnt have done it on his own.... and he didnt. So here are a few of the people I blame for putting a poorly qualified, economically ignorant candidate in the White House for the next 4 years.

Oprah

1. It just wasnt enough to manipulate book sales through her brainwashing media empire, now she has put her brand on the entire country.

MTV

2.We should know that anyone who watches " Super Sweet 16" and any show involving P Diddy is not able to make their own decisions about important matters. Thanks for your less than subtle agenda.

John Stewart

3. I guess he took the "high road" by mocking his elders instead of the black guy while swaying the opinion of so many. (That might be a first for a comedian.)

Melissa

4. Sure the state might have gone to McCain effectively redering your vote worthless.... but I had to out you! ha ha ha


Redeeming moment of the night..... looks like Prop 102 (Gay Marriage Ban) will be passing. :)

Things That Are.......

1. Working so much that you forget the meaning of the word "blog"...... not kosher.

2. Using someone's bowling ball when they are not on the same lane as you....gimme back my ball a-hole!..... not kosher.

3. The phrase, "you're funny" repeated as a filler for lack of an intelligent response.....not kosher.

4.Pigs and the rest of those "cloven-footed" rascals.....apparently not kosher.

I Present to You, My Candidate......

Senator Brad Esposito!
Just watch the video and you will know why!

Ohhhhhrrrrrrr Hellooooorrrrrrrrr

Ok, so I was at work and someone from "across the pond" came in and we were chatting it up and whatnot....... and it reminded me of something. If it is called the ENGLISH language, why is it that the English seem to have the hardest time with it? I motion to have it re-named to AMERICAN.

"How will I know if I speak English or American?" you might be asking yourself. Luckily I have devised a simple test. Just read the following sentence out loud to find out if you speak the TRUE English (aka - American) or "English" (aka - British).

Heather, from America, says hello.

If your sentence sounded more like, "Heatha, from Ameriker, says hellowr" you speak British. Jolly good effort though!

The "er" in Heather is not pronounced like an "a" and words ending in "a" should not sound like they end in "er" in the English language. As for the "r" added on the end of the world "hello" I have no clue but I have head it there before.

Now, some might take this as me not liking the British, which is hardly the case. The Brits are a delightful bunch of chaps who have brought the world such fantastic things such as bangers and mash, rhyme slang, and the world's hottest couple; Posh and Becks! They have one of the strongest currencies in the world and, up until recently, given James Bond that "je ne sais quoi" that makes the ladies swoon (thanks a lot for not even trying to be British Daniel Craig!).


So I guess the never-ending battle between the Brits and their rebellious American offshoot continues.

My Memo Machine Must Be Out of Memo Juice.....

Cuz I sure missed the one about today being "Drive Like an A-hole Day" here in the Grand Canyon State. But don't despair. The drivers of a Toyota 4runner, Jeep Cherokee, Honda Civic and that damn taxi obviously all have working memo machines, so the day was not left lacking some celebratory driving. They all did a fantastic job. So here is a big thumbs up to all that participated in today's holiday.

Oh wait, did I say thumbs? My bad.

The Joke's on......US?

So I don't know if anyone else is paying any attention to the McCain campaign these days, but the man is a modern day Houdini/Paris Hilton! (The best mix of illusionist/publicity-whore EVER!) I might be the only one who is on to his little stunt, but after this blog I am sure that everyone will see what I see. I submit for your review.....

I cant wait until McCain lets the cat out of the bag that Tina Fey has been playing the role of Sarah Palin all along. Once the jig is up maybe he will consider choosing a running mate that wont go for the "horny male age 18-56" vote and will snag a little of the "informed citizen" vote.

I Slept with a Millionaire......

Now, before my mom freaks out that I am sleeping with people, and a dude none-the-less, let my clarify. Ok, so I didnt exactly sleep with him...... he slept at my place.....like 4 years ago......in an entirely different room. Not the tabloid slease I am sure you were all hoping for, but the story of how he recently became a millionaire is a cool one.

I just happened to be flipping through the channels tonight and saw on of my fave gameshows, "Deal or No Deal" was on, so I decided to watch. I missed the very beginning and so I didnt see any of the introductions, but when they flashed over the the husband of pregnant contestant, I thought, "That dude looks familiar..... I think that is Ross." Turns out, for about the third time in my life, I was right. There, on national TV, was the guy that Del Sol had sent out to live with me for about a month. (Truth be told, I havent really been great at keeping in touch, but I am still going to claim him as a friend since we do have inside jokes.) Well, his wife went on to win the million dollars for the first time in the show's history. So he is now a millionaire! Here is the clip. (Note: Ross is the one in the sweet argyle sweater.)




So congrats are in order to Ross and Jessica. It couldnt have happened to a better or more deserving guy!

Hottest Item Since Tickle Me Elmo.....

So I was flipping through the channels and saw something that I know will be the hottest Christmas toy this year. All the kids are going to want this new talking puppet! Take a look....

The best part is that all you have to do is promise to help pay off of the millions of dollars of campaign debt this puppet has accumulated and it will say anything you want. That's right, say ANYTHING you want! Don't believe me, check out the latest things the puppet said.

"I am a proud supporter of Barack Obama."

"Barack Obama is my candidate. And he must be our president."

If those quotes don't prove that it will say anything you tell it to, then I don't know what will. The price has not yet been released but it is obviously cheap.

I Can't Brain Today........I Has the Dumb.

Ok , so rarely is there anything to glean from the suggested MSN articles that pop-up when you log into MSN messenger. Unless you are trying to glean something from the life of someone more famous than you will ever be, that is. But, today we must have won the cosmic jackpot and beaten the 1:1000000000000000000 odds of something semi-intelligent.

I present for your viewing pleasure..........a link!

The Male Brain, Explained

I think this is something all women must read to help understand the beautifully simplistic disaster which is the male brain. And the good part is, this is not hearsay or opinion (although I have my suspicions that McMaster University and McGill University might both be under the direction of Dean Hamburgular and the Fry Guys), this is hard to the core science by brainy doctor people! So put that in your fife and smoke it ladies. Or better yet, use that memory it talks so much about to recall how a guy is programmed before overgeneralizing about how all guys are ___________.

That sounds familiar......

So I was surfing the internet today and came across a webpage that just seemed really familiar. The pictures, videos and even the banter totally had the "Steve" vibe to it. (And, yes, I do have my own vibe!) Then I realized...... hey, this is my blog! I almost forgot all about it from the many mind-numbing hours spent slinging jean at Buckle (pronounced with a French accent "boo-klay".) So my highly neglected blog will most likely continue to be neglected for the next little while unless anything lights the fire within and inspires me to blog. And in no way does that sound gay at all. Wow.

Russian Roulette?

Has anyone ever thought about how electing a President is pretty much like playing Russian Roulette? I mean, we go into a small room full of choices, make a decision, and pull the trigger hoping for the best. Is that the best we can do? 13 out of 10 Americans believe the US to be the greatest country in the world, but are the candidates really representative of the best America has to offer? An inexperienced politician who caught fire because of the Oprah push and the former P.O.W. who has been in the system for so long he might as well be an exhibit in the museum of politics? The best America has to offer? Hmmmmmmmmm.......Nothing left to do now but spin the cartridge again in November!

And I saw this and thought it was great......

The End of an Era

Lappy Topperton, 3, of Steven's room booted up for the last time the evening of July 24th and was found dead the morning of July 25th, 2008. Lappy had been a member of the family since purchase and will be sorely missed. Adept at scamming wireless both domestically and internationally, Lappy had been with hundreds of wireless networks in his lifetime. He got around.....A LOT. After spending some time in Spain, Lappy made a return to the US and added such programs as Photoshop and NetObjects Fusion to his repertoire. He enjoyed iTunes, MySpace, and various Forex Trading websites. Over the course of his last few months an addiction to Limewire began to fuel a rapid increase in his iTunes music collection and is thought to be the cause of becoming dead. Lappy Topperton will lay in state on the couch in Steven's room until enough cash is gathered to take Lappy to a certified technician. In lieu of flowers please call you mother and tell her you love her.

Is it I?

So, taking a look around my little world the other day I noticed all the utter insanity that goes on daily. After wondering how messed-up, insensitive, and just plain old DUMB people can be, the question came to mind, "Are they crazy or is it me?" Lets take a look and see.....

• Bill collectors threatening to sue a company whose bank account was closed due to having a ZERO balance for over 9 months.
• Customers finding jeans they "love", checking the price tag and lying through their teeth when they say "Hold these for me, I will be back." (What? Is there a money tree in the mall parking lot that no one told me about? If there is, FILL ME IN!)
• People who are upset at a stipulation of maintaining life to qualify for an award. Shouldn't becoming dead end your affairs in this world?
• People actually saying Mama Mia is something worth seeing. (No, I haven't seen it because I know I cant afford to lose brain cells and drop into the "learning disabled" category.)

As the Apostles of old asked when Jesus told them of a betrayal by one in the group, I ask, "Is it I?" And just as 11 of them found out..... the answer is no!

Please try and keep your insanity to a minimum!

Things that must.....stay?

Despite not living in Utah and being able to partake in the insanity/awesomeness that is the "Radio from Hell" morning program on X96, I decided to tweak a classic part of their show. Once a week or so they would have a list of the "things that must go" and listeners would call in (or email) a list of things that they disliked and thought must be done away with. So here is my list of things that we should have more of....

1. The song from the Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee commercial

Someone needs to do a full length track with the beat.... it would be quality!

2. Sites like www.greatstufftv.com. They are like the poor man's DVR since they have almost all of the episodes of your favorite shows. Now if only the movies werent shot by someone in the theater with a video camera...boughetto and a half!

3. Trogdor. Gotta love "the Burnanator"!

Apparently, I am not alone in wanting more Trogdor....


4. Hot Tamales.... I recently started a 12 step program because of these little gems. I am on the the first..... half..... step....... no handfuls...no handfuls of tamales.


5. Lacey Mosley. Should I be talking to a therapist if I think a girl who can let out a "death-scream" is hott? (See "I'm So Sick") Don't judge!

Flyleaf - Something I Can Never Have @ Madrid 28-02-2008
Uploaded by TrAsHCoK

6. Resident Hero. By far my favorite band on the planet. (And no, it has nothing to do with the fact that Lacey Mosley sing on one of their tracks.)If only these guys could find a record label. Check them out at www.myspace.com/residenthero.

So that is the list for today at least.

The Mind Boggles

So, here are some thoughts that I have been pondering for the last little while (or longer)....

1. Does becoming really good at the drums on Rock Band actually make one a decent drummer in real life?

2. If woodchucks can't chuck wood, who was the extra-chomosomed person who named them? Shouldn't the naming of animals be left to the intelligent? Or at least to the guy that named the anteater?

3. Does Hollywood (aka - the movie industry) feed our hopes or are they just a reflection of them?

4. If "cada cabeza es un mundo" (every head is a world) then who is living in the real world?

5. Why does Arizona have to be so damn hot?


Ponderous, man. Very ponderous.

Viva Espana

So for those of you who decided not to watch the finals of the Euro 2008 I will give you one guess who won. Wrong, it was Spain. After all the talk about how the Spanish seem to fold under pressure and how Germany blah blah blah..... it is crow eating time! 44 years after their last European Championship Spain cane through with a 1-0 win over the Germanians.

Not going to lie, it was a sweet little goal that even those ignorant to the wonderfulness of futbol could appreciate. Fernando Torres, aka "El Nino" (no, not the weather phenomenon), beat the German defender to a ball he shouldn't have been able to get to and flicked it over the goalkeeper. Check out the video -



And so ends the fantasticality that shows why the rest of the world loves a sport where they chase a ball up and down a field (pitch as it is known to the footballers) for 90+ minutes. So next time you get to partake in an event like this, take it. If not for my sake, for your own!

Jesus wants me for a ........ SPAMMER?????

I must be one of the most evil, vile, hell-bound, iniquitous, and damned people on the face of the Earth. How does one earn such a position you might be asking. Have I killed anyone? No. Did I rob an old lady while simultaneously coveting my neighbors wife and taking the Lord's name in vain? No. I am no good at multitasking let alone multitasking evil deeds. Have I denied the faith and fought against the purposes of the Almighty. Nope. So what have I done that has condemned me..... I didn't pass along a Jesus email. Sorry mom! No heaven for me.

OK, so anyone who knows me knows that I believe in God and His son Jesus. I go to church weekly, pray, read the "sticks" and even spread the "Good Word" for 2 years straight. I would say that qualifies me for a place under the expansive classification of Christian. I just have never been a fan of the Jesus mails. They always start off with some brave soul who has the courage to stand up for his/her belief in God in the face of some adversity. They inevitably flow on to how many jokes we pass along but we never talk about God. Ummmmm..... maybe THEY never talk about God, but that doesn't mean that others aren't doing it. So while I am glad there are stories of those who stand up for their belief in God and Jesus, just don't expect any emails, posts, blogs, videos, or other communications guilting you into religious confessions.

Futbol Fever

Ok, so I have come down with futbol fever again. My last bout with this fantastic illness was while living in Spain and becoming enthralled with the World Cup. I watched close to every match played and blogged about what was going on too. So, with some of the best footballers in the world representing their nations, I have enjoyed coming down with the fever again during the Euro 2008. Here are a few of my observations from this go 'round .......

1. What happened to England? I mean, seriously.... why wasn't England in? Did they just not make it now that Posh and Becks are gallivanting around Hollywood and not there to rep Buckingham Palace? Or were they just not invited, as if they weren't part of Europe. If you know the answer, please fill me in.

2. Portugal is still the biggest group of floppers, cry babies, and pansies in the universe. I mean, they might be up for an Oscar after all the acting done after taking a dive. I hope the mulletted Ronaldo makes the acceptance speech. Good news is that they were taken out by Germany in the Quarter Finals.

3. Nothing like the accents of the English and the Irish to make you wonder if that is actually English they are speaking. And I quote the goose...." HOH?!?!?!"

4. New life goal..... go to one of these matches, get all decked out in the scarf of whatever country I feel like claiming for the day (with one for the opposing side too in case they start winning), and sing, cheer and yell along with all the other crazy fans!

So, I hope my American friends will take a little time and check out the Semi Final match between Russia and Spain (Viva Espana!!) Thursday or the Championship game on Sunday for their chance to come down with the fever. Who knows, if nothing else it makes a phenomenal excuse to call in sick on Monday!

PS... If anyone wants to read the blogs from World Cup 2006 just go to www.senorito.com and click on "Los Blogs del Senorito". Enjoy!

Quite Possibly the BEST Commercial..... EVER! Litterally!

So if you dont live in a state where you have the chance to have your TV viewing inundated with all the services Cox Communications offers, I would have at one time called you lucky. That all changed when some marketing genius saw the following commercial.....





After seeing what a little sold out star power can do pushing a TV product, this genius knew what needed to be done.......a SPOOF! And here it is.... feel free to LOL.

Dreams of Craziness

"They" say that every time you sleep you dream. Who "they" are I do not know, I am guessing Al Gore is one of them though. Anywho, I hardly ever remember my dreams but last night was an exception. I had two of the craziest dreams I can recall in quite some time. The following happened all in my 2 dreams.

Robbed a Bank

Took the Police for a Ride

Went Incognito

Got Caught








Sailed on a Old Ship

Hung with Richard Branson

Almost Eaten by a Shark



The moral of the story....... eat more "magically mesquite" chicken!

Breaking Down Is Hard to Do

So, after a long hiatus from the world of blogging something inside me snapped and the result is what you see here. The last time I blogged I was living in Spain and life was exciting. This time around life is less exciting but that doesnt mean that the hampster in my head has stopped cranking out the insanity of ideas..... so get ready for a good way to waste time, kill a few braincells, and have something you may or may not be able to talk about at the watercooler!